Reader Questions

A lovely reader named Sindy sent me an e-mail a few weeks ago. Her inquisitive questions were fun, so I thought I'd answer then in a post.

Ms. Sindy U., this is for YOU dahlin'! Check out her blog, SINDYLICIOUS'S ADDICTION

Q. Are the L.A. colors palettes worth buying? I guess you know it already but Makeup mix shop have 20% off until Jan20 :)

A. Yes and No. They're under $5 USD/palette so you get what you pay for. The color payoff is fairly good, but they are VERY shimmery. They're not intended for long wear either. If you're stepping out for cocktails, it'll last...but if you plan on staying out after happy hour, dancing afterwards or engaging in other sweaty activity that I don't need to spell out for you, I would recommend you wear a good base underneath. Or use different eyeshadows altogether.

I have the green palette and the multi-colored one (rainbow colors). I left them at my ex's place and I don't miss them. If you're a frugal beauty mogul, I'd still save money and skip on these palettes. Spend your money elsewhere...like NYX. Which brings us to the next question...

Q. What do you think about the quality of NYX's e/s?

A. LOVE AT FIRST SWIPE. Most of them are not chalky, vibrant color payoff and are definitely intended for long wear. I have over 20 colors and I love them all. The matte ones are on the powdery/chalky side, but nothing you couldn't work with. My favorite color is 'Sahara', frosted yellow-toned neutral; it's great as a highlight. It's a believable dupe of MAC's 'Ricepaper' (I own both). I also love 'Eggplant'. It rings true to it's name, it's a shimmery deep eggplant color.

Q. I'm a huge fan of EDM!! Do you still use them?

A. NOPE. I've realized that EDM foundation does not suit my combination/sensitive skin. I've tried most of their formulas, and even the matte formula applied over a quality base can make my skin look like an oil slick. I speak from experience but everyone who's interested should try their products on their own. I do like their marketing strategy (all those inexpensive sample-sized products!), the wide range of colors, their cruelty-free brushes and their revamped website.

Q. Any mascara to recommend for stubborn short asian lashes? I am currently loving the Majolica Majorca mascara. It perfectly holds and volumizes my lashes.

A. Last May my friend in Texas turned me on to Maybelline's The Colossal Volum' Express mascara. She has short, stubby eyelashes, but with this wonderproduct on, she bats her lashes like a seasoned pro. My lashes are neither short or stubby, but I use this mascara like a crackwhore uses her drug of choice. I fiend for it, I feel naked without it! The magic lies within the formula. It's neither too watery or too waxy. The fat brush helps volumize and never clumps, no matter how many times you swipe the product on. People who usually don't come up to me at work have complimented my spider leg-esque lashes.

Q. I've fallen in love with MAC lovelorn lipstick since I saw it on your blog. I will try to go to check it at the store!! It's such a nice wearable pink that is not NUDE! Have you found other lipsticks similar to this color?

A. Lovelorn is a fun bubble-gum blue-based pink! Sadly, I haven't worn it much. If you're looking for a cheaper alternative, Wet 'n Wild's 'Tokyo A-Pink-Pink' really delivers! It's creamy and pigmented, not to mention DIRT CHEAP. I'd wear it with neutral shadow and dark, winged liner!

Q. Are there any other MAC lipsticks that you can recommend or your favs...

A. I have many favorites but here are my top 6 faves. All the descriptions are from the M.A.C website

• Honeylove (Matte, light beige toned with rose) --> A wonderful matte nude that will never wash out pale skin. Stays put, and looks great under clear or colored gloss as well.
• Blankety (Amplified Creme, soft pink beige) --> Very similar to Honeylove, but a creamier version.
• Creme D'nude (Cremesheen, pale muted peach beige) --> A very wearable peach-nude. If you want to erase the natural pigmentation of your lips but don't want to wear a matte nude, try this one out.
• Freckletone (Lustre, neutral peach) --> A tad more on the beige side than any of the above. Great to wear under gloss or to mix with pink-toned lipsticks for that perfect pink-beige.
• Nude Rose (Lustre) --> From the DSquared2 collection. The color rings true to it's name. It's not too bright, I'd describe it as a dusty muted rose.
• MAC Red (Satin, vivid bright bluish-red) --> The only red that doesn't make me look forty-five.

Q. I am loving Stila's e/s right now and I don't own any MAC e/s. If I were to get, let's say 2 quads (one neutral and one with colors), which colors do you think I should pick?

A. Wow this question makes my brain hurt...just because there are SO many colors I recommend. But here are two quads I would create for those who don't own any yet (again, all finish and color descriptions are from their website):

Neutral Quad: You want a tint, a tone, a mid-tone and a shade.

• Vanilla (Velvet, peachy ivory with reflects) --> I use this as a highlight. Not too shimmery or white either.
• Soba (Satin, gold brown with gold shimmer) --> Great alone on the lids or under darker shadows. Works well in the crease if you're using a bright hue on your lids.
• Cork (Satin, muted golden brown) --> Slightly darker than Soba, and not as shimmery.
• Carbon (Matte, intense black) --> A must to smoke out any look. Also works great as a liner, just use a stiff brush to apply.
• Print (Satin, muted grey with shimmer) --> For those of you who don't like or are afraid of using dark shades such as black, try Print. It works well with beige and brown shades as well.

Bright Quad: Pick your favorite colors! There are NO rules here! Actually there are no rules when applying makeup, but when experimenting with bright hues, I say go all out! Here are my tried-and-true faves from M.A.C:

• Beautiful Iris (Veluxe Pearl, lavender with sheen) --> For a purple smokey look, I wear Beautiful Iris on my lids and smoke it out with Carbon or Print in my outer-corner/crease.
• Gorgeous Gold (Veluxe Pearl, muted yellow-gold) --> Goes well with browns.
• Freshwater (Veluxe Pearl, bright summer blue) --> A beautiful aqua, very cute with darker blues or pastels!
• Humid (Frost, intense green with shimmer) --> Brings out hazel and dark brown eyes.

Thanks for reading. Have a safe weekend y'all. Chuck deuuuuces, I'm out.

I'm alive, thanks for asking.

Well hello there. Do you remember me? The ex-avid beauty blogger with a potty mouth and a tendency to drop off the face of the earth without providing any witty insight as to why. Hey, it's none of your business anyway. But you love me, right? RIGHT?

I almost got rid of this thing. But I worked so hard on it, and back when I started blogging, it was one of the few outlets I had. I can't bring myself to hit 'DELETE BLOG' just yet. So until I find better hobbies than ogling at beauty/fashion blogs, drinking heavily and working overtime like an unhappy, undersexed middle-aged man, I will share with whatever readers I have my sporadic mind spray.

Today, I leave you with Mr. Hornet, or the Asian Giant Hornet, or Vespa mandarinia Japonica...colloquially known as the yak-killer. He followed me home on a very windy day and decided to take his fury out on my middle finger. Fucker got me GOOD! Doc told me if I ever get stung again I might die.

Random Brain Fart: The Japanese Failure of Medicine
Doctors are so full of sh*t sometimes, especially Japanese ones. They feed you nonsense or don't explain your malady, and prescribe you the wrong drugs. I can't tell you how many times I've passed out from overdosing on my doctor's account. They'll prescribe a dangerous cocktail of anti-inflammatory pills with lung-opening asthma patches. Yeah, one time I had the shakes like a heroin addict for weeks, and all I had was bronchitis! Since many of the doctors at smaller 'inner organ' or '内科' clinics lack the skill or are unequipped to diagnose a patient, they'll draw blood, send the sample to a lab or a University hospital, and ask you to come back for the result in seven to ten days. Of couse you have to pay for the blood exam...but you also have to pay them to get your results! I could go on and on about how Japanese health care sucks, but I'll do that some other time.

Enough mind-barf. Here's the sucker who got me on the day of the typhoon. Roughly ten minutes after my sister took these pictures, excruciating pain spread through not only my finger but my entire hand and my arm. Since a typhoon was raging through Tokyo, all public transportation had stopped...so I had to RUN my ass to the closest hospital, which is luckily only ten minutes away. But STILL. By the time I got to the hospital my hand was ice-cold. But anyway I lived to tell the tale and have pictures to share. ENJOY.

Hello, stranger!

It's blazing hot outside today.
I woke up at 4 p.m.  My mom was stir-frying sliced eggplant, and warned me, "It's a sauna outside.  No breeze."  F**K!!!
 
The past few days have been a huge blur.  I wake up, go to work either in the morning or at night.  If there isn't enough caffeine pumping through my icy veins I don't mesh very well with my colleagues.
 
So I drink a Red Bull and two soy lattes during each shift.  I am such a caffeine addict.  I am an insomniac.  I am a vampire.  I am also such a mean bitch at work.
 
Recently (damnit, last night), this guy I like and am kind of involved with told me that though it doesn't really bother him, I should probably tone down the attitude or the bitchiness.  He slurred, 'You gotta remember that when you with me or around my friends, you can't act the way you do at work.'
 
Thanks asshole.  I KNOW. 
 
I wish he didn't lie to me and tell me my attitude doesn't bother him.
Well, maybe it genuinely doesn't bother him.  I don't know how to feel about that one.  It's a mixture of embarassment and annoyance at the fact that his friend had to point out to him that I kind of act like I'm above everyone else.  Like I care.  But damnit, I kind of do.
 
It's just my nature to f**k with people.  I like to joke around and talk shit.  Thats why I have a lot of guy friends.
 
HEY, I don't necessarily think or act like I am better than the rest of the planet.  But I didn't get this far by letting old farts walk all over me like a freakin' doormat.  I guess it's not an everyday thing where Japanese women speak their mind freely.  I don't put people down or tell them they're useless.  I'm not an asshole.  But I will push people to be able to think for themselves.  I don't nag them if they make mistakes.  I point their mistake out and explain WHY it's wrong.  Then I discuss (meaning I let them throw ideas in the pot) ways to avoid the same mistake or improve certain skill(s) that need improvement.
 
WHEW!  I needed to get that out. 
 
I got wasted at home last night.  I had a drink or two after work and old colleague.  While we were catching up we spotted another guy from work so we joined them.  There were a bunch of people from my office drinking at the same izakaya.  Cool.  So we talked shit, drank, smoke, forgot about the office for a few hours.
 
I went home feeling like crap after having the depressing aforementioned conversation with the boy.  I cracked open a few beer cans and scribbled nonsense on my sketchpad.  I usually don't drink at home but the mood served the purpose.  God, I'm glad my mom gives me lots of privacy at the house.
 
We're moving in 11 days!  To Meguro!  For you non- city slickers, that's two stops from Shibuya.  That puts me 19 minutes away from Tokyo station (my office).  I can't wait.  We're moving from a huge two-story house with 25 years worth of furniture and crap to a three-bedroom apartment.  The apartment itself is old...built in 1970.  But the inside is nice!  Decent!  All wood flooring with an industrial-style kitchen.  My room has these light pastel sea green shelves on three of the four walls.  I'll post pics after I move in.  I'll have space to store my heels, my makeup, my books, photos and god knows what else!  Any ideas? 
 
I'm looking forward to being able to stay out late downtown and WALK home.  Shoot, I could cab it home too, but I like walking aimlessly when I'm drunk, harhar.
 
Thank YOU for reading.
 
LOVEAYA

Mini-update.

So if any of you have noticed, I've been away for a bit. I WANT to update my blog. I even have vivid dreams where I'm uploading pics on this thing. So at least my subconscious self wants to continue blogging for the time being.

Here's what I've been gettin' myself into lately. Not interested? TOO BAD!

一。Going out on Wednesday nights and Friday's or Saturday nights. Liver is getting used to the constant abuse. Drink of choice: Champagne, Bellini, Red Bull and Vodka aaaaand Mojito (not too sweet please).

二。Brushing shoulders with artists, photographers with larger-than-life egos, and Tokyo's dirty, crazy, creative elitists.

三。Working constant night shifts. I know this is vain, but I'm so f*cking worried that my skin will break out badly like it used to, since my body pumps a lot more adrenaline when I'm trying to stay awake. During work I try to drink 2 liters of green tea to flush out toxins.

四。Diggin' at record stores. Always on the look out for rare Beatnuts and Alkoholics cuts.

五。Throwing out sh!t I don't need. I have ACRES of paperwork and JUNK to go through still. My fam bam and I are trying to move this year. Ladies, I have a LOT of makeup and Japanese magazines I want to sell. Interested? Let me know, I shall post!

Zat eeeez it. Jyaaane!

Early Summer Smokey Eyes

Lately I've been obsessed with dewey skin. You can achieve dewey-looking skin without using a ton of liquid based products...just use a highlighting powder with very fine sparkles. I LOVE MAC's Mineralize Skinfinish in 'Soft And Gentle' for this technique. You don't want your face to be too matte in the summer...especially when you're glistening in sweat! You'll end up looking like a grandma wearing baby powder on her face!

I actually saw an old wrinkly lady at Wendy's last summer who had suspicious white powder all over her face. She was swatting imaginary flies while she sipped her hot coffee...all the same time jumping through invisible hoops...I wasn't sure if the powder was yayo or if she was so cracked out and cooky that she decided that it was a good idea to dip her face in a can of baby powder...I mean, all the high points of her face (cheekbones, forehead, nose) were chalky-white...

Sorry, I totally went off on a different tangent there...I've seen and befriended a lot of crazies in my hayday! I think I only remain close friends with people who are a little crack-ish anyway...people who would probably benefit from anger management classes (including myself at times, haha). Anyway, moral of story = TOO matte skin will make you look like
cracked-out Grandma.

So here's my ode to dewey skin, as well as a different take on smokey brown eyes. I used KATE Deep Trap Eyes palette in BR-1. They're browns and taupes with some red undertones...works surprisingly well with my ghost white complexion.

Most of what I used to create the look (clockwise from top left)

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in 'Perfect Topping'

MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in 'Soft And Gentle'

MAC Beauty Powder in 'Smooth Harmony'

KATE Deep Trap Eyes in 'BR-1'

MAC Powder Blush in 'Melba'

DHC Q10 Powdery Foundation

Not shown:
KATE Super Sharp Liner (liquid eyeliner)
Katie B. Faux Lash Mascara
Tarte 24.7 Lip Sheer in 'Summer Fling'

P.S. Food For Thought...
The old wrinkly lady with coke/baby powder all over her mug finished her coffee, and proceeded to pass out at Wendy's...I think she was homeless...or she just had a lot of crap with her and needed a loooong nap. I got out of the movies that evening, and she was slumped against the window seat. So sad how our economic spurt created a generation of children who neglect their elders, and gave birth to a corrupt system where it's getting harder to collect the pension we are entitled to...

My everyday look

Hello guys and dolls....how y'all doin'? I've been battling a cold for the past week. It all started with a sore throat, then the bodyache, then the fever....I went to the doctor's yesterday and they gave me SIX different kinds of meds....I was like 'WTF, how am I going to remember when to take what?' Anyway, I'm feeling a lot better today. Damn I need to get better QUICK. The weekend is comin' up, and there is no way I am staying home like I did last weekend. I missed sippin' alcohol so much, I had a strawberry mojito with my bacon cheeseburger I had for dinner...It was soooooooooo goooooood.....Verrrry rum-y. Sis helped me drink some of it though...

I also went to Forever21 today. They FINALLY opened a store in Japan. There's only ONE so far, and it's next to the H&M in Harajuku. I hope they open more stores in Japan, and not only in Tokyo....I swear it's crowded because girls from other prefectures make day trips down here, just to shop at Forever....I saw b*tches in the store with SUITCASES....C'mon now, is it THAT serious? Seems like some of us Japanese girls are very desperate for fast fashion...
Haha, anyway I spent about $170 on 2 dresses, a baby blue-and-white checkered shirtdress, a pair of light blue skinny jeans, a sequined white tank, a sexy off-the-shoulder white tee with a black floral print, undies, bras and jewelery. I think I'll just shop online from now on...I hate how crowded it was there! I swear I yelled 'MOVE!' to several girls....a lot of them were'nt paying attention to where they were walking.... @__@

Anyway, enough ranting, here's a look I did today before I headed downtown. I wear this look a lot lately, just because it's so simple yet, gives my eyes enough definition. I'm all about saving time nowadays...I can't stand sitting still in my stuffy room for too long!

MOST of the stuff I used. Clockwise from top left:

• NARS Duo Eyeshadow in Kalahari (I only used the color on the left)
• MAC TRIP in Neutral Eyes (again, only used the color on the far left)
• MAC Beauty Powder Blush in Fun & Games
• MAC Mineralize Skinfinish in Perfect Topping
• DHC Q10 Powdery Foundation
  
  

My hair is graying...

I got a text today from my boyfriend at 6:41 p.m. and it went like this...

"Me + dirt bike = broken collar bone. Final score for today...dirt bike = 1, Mac = 0. Go team!!"

Yes, his collarbone broke today while he was out riding dirt bikes with his friend. He crashed the bike, went flying in the air and somehow crushed his left collar bone to bits and pieces.

Wait, there's more.....

He broke his right collarbone in January of this year on a snowboarding trip.

Yeah that's right. It's his second time this year breaking not just any bone, but his collarbone.
There's something almost commendable to this sort of irony!

Two metal plates are holding his right collarbone together at the moment. The left side is currently shattered, and he'll definitely need surgery.

I feel for the man. I can't imagine the kind of pain he's in. I just made him two grilled cheese sandwiches so the Percocet he took an hour ago won't eat at the walls of his stomach...

I love this man to death, and I'll take care of him without hesitation...but I can't hush the self-absorbed voice in my head. I can't help but wish he'd act his age...or at least not get broken so much. I have to worry about his upcoming deployment...and now this. I wish he'd for a second, think about how much I might worry before he jumps on a dirt bike that's not his.....or go riding while he's sick.
He said he's sorry he made me worry so much, and that he'd try not to make me worry.
Sometimes empty promises are better than none...

Gold and Eggplant FOTD

Hi guys! Hope everyone's having a great weekend! I'm just chillen' at home as usual, nothing too hype or interesting. I have a lot of housework to tackle and FOTD's to post! I know I've been neglecting my blog for the last couple of months...let's just say the stress and exhaustion I accumulate at work follows me home...It's been so tough trying to be a reliable, fair, multi-tasking supervisor. And you know the suck-ass part of it? I haven't gotten a raise yet! It's not because I suck at my job but because my outsourcing company has the most f**ked up policies. They review your contract once a year in October (or November?) and then give you a raise. So I started supervisor duties at my network operations center (NOC) back in July and have basically been paid regular 1st level tech pay until now. If they don't add on the extra amount that supervisors are supposed to receive, my company is going to have HELL to pay!!!

Anyway, I'm slowly but surely getting used to my duties. My section receives roughly 300 to 500 e-mails per day from clients and other telecommunication/satellite carriers. I have to make sure I read the important ones...this task alone takes hours. I enjoy having a little more freedom, and calling my own shots though. It's also worthwhile when I see my colleagues and newbies troubleshoot like their life depends on it. At the end of the day, I know that I cannot do my job well, or at all, unless my colleagues support me 120%.

Okay, on to what you're all here for...a FOTD! I am loving purple this season, especially deep, smokey eggplant or maroon shades.

I used M.A.C:
- 'Patina' (bottom left) on entire lid.
- 'Tempting' (bottom, middle) and 'Woodwinked' (bottom, right) on inner half of lid

Theeeeen I used NYX 'Eggplant' on the outer third:
Finished look:
Here's what my hair looked like in early September after the FIRST cut:

Update

Hey guys and dolls sorry I've been MIA this month. I've been busy with life…making the most of my summer, and what's left of it! Here's what I've been up to:

• Been going on day AND night bike rides with my boyfriend to Okutama (mountains nearby) on his GSX-R1000. Riding is definitely fun although all I do is sit on the back and hang on for dear life. But when you're going at 100+ km per hour, gravity seriously takeｓ a toll on a small frame like mine. Slowing down to a stop hurts my arms and back!
• I tried spending quality time with my middle sister before she leaves...she's leaving for Toronto TODAY (Friday)...I saw her on Wednesday last, and I almost cried when I said bye to her...at least she'll only be gone for 9 months!
• I was recently promoted to duty supervisor of my team (there are a couple supervisors on my team so it's not a huge deal) BUT my workload has multiplied tenfold. I used to finish work at 8:30 p.m., not I stay behind until 9:30 or later to finish up. Night shifts are worse, I've stayed behind until 10:00 a.m!
  

Aaaanyway, I'm on a semi-no buy this month, and possibly the next...well, that discludes products and clothing/shoes I order online, LOL. But if you guys saw my current makeup collection, you'd all think I was materialistic and self-absorbed! Like who needs ten shades of green? Apparently I thought I did, LOL. I bought a LOT of makeup this year, and every time I'd make a purchase, I'd justify it by telling my conscience 'it's to build my collection…someday I'll put it to good use when I do makeup on others'…NOT going to happen any time soon. I have a full-time job that eats up 200 hours of my life every month…*sobs*

Anyway, enough ranting, let's talk makeup! Here's a compressed list of my FAVORITE beauty products. I'll start by listing face products for this post and continue the list in other posts to come.

Foundation
Liquid: L'Oreal True Match Liquid Foundation. I use (color). It's lightweight, yet covers my rosacea without looking fake or cakey! It's a truly amazing product, I can't believe it's less than $10!!!! I use a fiber optic stippling blush for an even coverage.
Mineral: I used to love Everyday Minerals until I noticed pale microbumps clustering on my forehead. After reading Sara's blog, I wanted to test out Buff'd Cosmetics, so I ordered a lot of samples. Their mineral foundations provide better coverage. I L-O-V-E the original formula, it covers redness, discolorations and acne scars. The only downside to Buff'd mineral foundation (and most other brands) is that it shifts a lot after it's been on my face for an hour or two. From my experience, it's definitely NOT sweat-proof, so I suggest mineral foundation for those who have drier skin, and/or wearing it during the cooler seasons.
Powder: A tie between M.A.C Stuidio Fix Foundation and Studio Perfect SPF15 Foudation. I keep one in my work locker and one at home. I've been using Studio Fix since '04. It's an almighty product. I don't even really need to wear liquid foundation underneath, just the powder provides enough coverage. An added bonus: It makes my skin look and FEEL silky-smooth thanks to ingredients like silica (absorbs oil) and fine-milled talc (keeps skin matte all day)! I use a latex wedge sponge to apply it when I'm in a rush. The best part is that you can build the coverage, and never ever looks cakey.

By the way, guess what I'll be doing on Sunday...........................I'm climbing Mt. Fuji with my boyfriend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm super-excited!!! I've always wanted to climb our Fuji-san. We're supposed to go to the Nike outlet on Saturday to get me some hiking boots :) I can't wait to take pictures from the top!!! I'll definitely do a post on the climb :)

Name Necklace and Random List

I've always wanted a personalized name necklace. So I asked my boyfriend if he'd get me one for my birthday (coming up next month) and he said yes. I thought it was greedy of me to ask for a gift, but he didn't mind, since it saves him the brainstorming. ;) Thanks bub!

So I narrowed my choices to these two...which do you guys like better? And why? I can't decide....do I want bling or no bling??? Is bling tacky? Or is no bling cheap-looking? Aaaaaaaaagh I can't decide! (Need to calm my ass down, it 'aint that serious.)

No Bling (3D Doube-Plated): I'm not sure what a double-plated thingy looks like, but I think I want a flat one. Can someone explain what double-plated is? Is it hollow inside???
With Bling in first letter only (I think the diamonds are real, but really low carat):
What do you guys think? I want it in 14K yellow gold, not white gold or silver. Silver makes me look so washed out. I'm a bit peeved they only make these in 14K. I'm not some snob that only wears 24K gold, but 14K looks a bit FAKE in my opinion, especially when used in flashy/gaudy designs. 18K woulda been nice, no?

Here's a short survey Chiara-chan asked us to post a while ago. The questions she came up with are so cute, just like her ;)

1. What's your favorite song? Why? - Too many to choose from. But I love 'King of Sorrow' by Sade and 'Wish I Didn't Miss You' by Angie Stone. I can relate to both songs, they describe certain chapters of my life to a T.

2. Favorite pizza topping? - I LOOOOOVE pepperoni. The less crispy the pepperoni is, the better! I could eat pepperoni on it's own all day everyday. Sweet, tangy, fatty, pig-foot-and-intestine goodness! LOL.

3. What was your favorite childhood passtime? - Reading. Nerdy as it sounds, it helped me 'escape', and as a kid, I felt the need to 'escape' a LOT. A lot of times during recess, instead of playing outside, I would sit on the floor in the corner of the library and read cook books and craft books.

4. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? What would it be? If not, why? - I wouldn't have given my heart away to certain people, because of the horrible things they did to it. I'm a loving person all the same, but after my last relationship, I am unable to trust people the same way.

I would love to get to know my fellow bloggers better, so if you want, please post your answers too! Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Re: Edit - I decided I like this script a lot better. No bling may be the way to go...

Being Mean 'Aint Fun

This is not a makeup-related post...so you if you're here solely for my makeup tuts/reviews, don't bother reading this, you'll just want three minutes of your life back :p This is an honest rant about my recent attitude at work...and I'm not proud of it. I just wanted to put it out there, so we can all reflect on our own shortcomings.

Recently a new guy joined my team at work. He's from India, speaks fluent Japanese and English, knows his Cisco stuff. He is probably a lot more intelligent than fifty percent of the people on my floor including the senior engineers, but he doesn't get the credit. Why? Because he's not Japanese? Because he's darker than the rest of the bunch? I don't know. Maybe deep in the crevices of our souls we feel threatened by smart people, regardless of their aesthetics.

Anyway, I can tell this guy is BORED OUT OF HIS F*CKIN' MIND. Mind you, if you fall asleep in front of seven monitors with speakers, and the phones constantly ringing off the hook, it's not because you're lazy or pathetic. It's because you can't STAND being there.

It took me a few weeks to realize this. During those few weeks, I tried to teach him how to log into routers, check configurations, memorize passwords, write grammatically sound e-mails, and talk to Japanese clients on the phone without offending them (mind you, that is a difficult feat, but once you master it, you'll be bowing in your seat while on the phone, teehee).

He wouldn't take notes. His beady eyes were always half-closed. He never remembered the passwords I tried to shove down his throat. I lost my patience. I felt it was HIS fault for not wanting to learn and improve. I started to give him the cold shoulder. I would criticize his mistakes. I was a BITCH. I was plain rude to the poor guy.

I would go home, angry that he fell asleep at his desk again, or because he talked back to me. I would whine to my boyfriend, "WHYYYY does he not want to leeeearrrn? Whyyyy is his attitude so shitty?" And then I'd go back to work the next day and continue the vicious cycle of cattiness.

But today, I got SICK of my own attitude. Quite literally. I came back from an early lunch sick to my stomach. I must've scared a few ladies in the restroom. Anyhow, every time the guy would ask me a question, and I gave him wry look, I felt even sicker. My stomach would churn, and squeal in pain and I'd have to get up and run down the hall again...(gross, I know.)

What happened next? This afternoon, after he talked to some manager from my company about his general attitude, he came back with a whole new outlook. He picked up the phone, made calls, sent e-mails, chased down managers to discuss network issues. Funny how one possibly positive pep talk can boost morale...I could've done that for him...I could've been that person to help him like his job a teeny bit more...but I was mean. I was unreasonable.

As the day went by and my nausea worsened, he started talking to me aimlessly, about the dramatic rescue of sixteen (?) captives in Colombia, which was blaring on the TV monitors on our walls. He compared that with the war in the Gaza Strip. I compared that with the war in Afghanistan. Then he started gabbing about the reasonable prices and plans for the iPhone, which is FINALLY coming out in Japan on July 11th. We talked to each other like equals. We laughed like we were colleagues that went way back. We shared a moment of decency.

My contempt melted away, and so did my exasperation. I feel horrible, for my selfishness and closed-mindedness...He decided to step up and be the better person, when my colleagues and I could have spent more time teaching him the ropes. Our excuses were always the same. "We're the busiest section here", "He talks back too much", "There are too many outages today".

Moral of the story is this: Make the extra effort to be nice to the new person and see him or her through. Don't be nice just on their first day. Don't give up on them even if they don't show interest or immediate improvement. I'm going to start Supervisor training this month...I hope I can be a fair, honest, reliable and FUN supervisor to work with. 'Cause if not, WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING A COOL JOB LIKE MINE? I get to work with people from all around the globe. I get to fix International network outages. I get to talk to engineers in Hong Kong, Germany, New York, Africa and more, ALL THE TIME. I save my clients billions of yen/dollars. I keep them in touch with the rest of the world. I make sure they can stream YouTube videos while they work overtime, LOL.

Being mean 'aint fun, and being selfless takes immense effort. So keep it simple, just be nice. That way you'll save yourself a lot trips to the restroom too ;p

Time to heal...and move on!

I wish I had more time to blog. I have tons of pictures to edit and post...my man even got me Photoshop for MAC (for 20 bucks and showing a little leg/titty, good deal!). I've been trying to get out and spend more time with friends...not stay all cooped up in the comfort of my house...Blogging has been a great escape, from stress I accumulate at work, from my relationship, and from general day-to-day woes. I sound like a damsel in distress now, but DAMN if you work over 12 hours a day, those bags under your eyes start lookin' like meteor craters, forreal! But right now I need to get out there, and laugh and drink with my friends...so I will have to deal with less blogger updates for now...and catch up later!

Recently I spent time with my mother. Just me and her...one on one...we hadn't had a meal together where we didn't end up arguing, not for about three years. Yeah. It's been a while. Shit hit the fan after I came home from San Diego, broke, broken, and pissed at God and the world. Without my Dad as the buffer, my mom and I went head-to-head with issues we've left unresolved for years. I couldn't take the fights, I even TRIED reasoning with her. But she was not in a state of mind or situation that was in her favor...she had to rebuild a life for herself and my younger sisters. I was nowhere in that equation, and she made it clear that I was not welcome...so I LEFT. I moved out, and stopped talking to my own mother. I didn't even give her my address or phone number. I didn't call her on her birthday or Christmas for two years. I left, never wanting to speak to her again. I felt almost betrayed by my own kin. In a sense she wasn't there for me when I needed her...but nor was I. Death can really tear a family apart, and it almost did mine. But slowly, our wounds are healing.

My mother announced that she finally started throwing my Dad's things away. His rider boots, his history and art books. She even let my youngest sister give my Dad's old sweaters and down jackets to the homeless men that camp out by the river behind their house. She's sorting through everything he left behind. She's even auctioning off his old knick-knacks. She recently sold a fold-up chair set for 50 bucks on Yahoo! Auctions. This, my friends may seem mundane to you, but it is a huge step in my mother's life. No one touched my father's things, not since February of '06.

My mother and I sat down last week, and ate and talked for a good three hours. It was strange and brand-new...yet natural. Like we've been doing that for years. I think we've both healed and forgiven each other. I don't know where this is going, but I think I can have a good relationship with her. I NEED her in my life. I NEED her to stay healthy. I NEED her to be there for me. I NEED her to see me succeed. I NEED her to be there for me when I hit another bump in the road. I don't know if she knows this...but I think she wants to be there for me too.

It feels strange, to have my mother back. It feels strange to actually feel BETTER in general about my family. I'd gotten so used to having a tumultous relationship with her, used to the sadness brought on from the aftermath of my father's death. It is a great thing to heal, and to finally be able to foresee LIGHT in my future.

For once in a long time, I am in a happy place. :)

Lazy Lazy Monkey

I've been meaning to post more EOTD's, tutorials and reviews...but I've been so tired recently. On top of being busy with work, I caught a cold. I hate being sick in the summer. It lingers, especially because it's fa-reeezing on the trains and inside buildings, but humid outside. I've been eating soup and taking cold medicine religiously, so hopefully I can kick this cold to the curb...I have too much to do to be sick!!! :[

I'm planning on reviewing my new Smashbox Lip and Lid primer. I bought a cheaper lip primer for comparison. I also want to try more summer-y, colorful eye makeup, so I'm thinking of colorful, yet wearable color combos. I think I'm going to get the Coastal Scents 88-color palette. I like the fact that all the colors are NOT shimmery. You can always add a sheer neutral or ivory shimmery pigment/eye shadow on top if you want shimmer...matte colors are more versatile I think.

Anywho, I'm feeling loopy off the medicine so I need to get my butt to bed. Will post more soon!

Please Help!!!

Fellow beauty bloggers...I have a dilemna! My mummy's birthday is in less than a week and I still have NO IDEA what to get her. She loves high-end cosmetics like Chanel, Lancome, Clinique, blah blah blah, but all I could think of getting her was this:

YSL Touche Eclat
I need ideas (and I'm not on a budget)...My mom is almost in her mid-fifties, but she looks mid-forties if you ask me. She already owns some quality makeup in neutral/berry tones. I thought about getting her a voucher for a day spa, but she works harder than most parents, so she may not have the time to go...she's a single mom with a lot of spirit and spunk, so I want to give her something that will make her look, therefore feel young again, even if it's just for five minutes!

What gifts have you guys given to your mothers that they absolutely loved and still use? PLEASE TELL MEEEEEEEEE!!! I love my mom and I want to give her something she will use and like without me having to ask her...All ideas are welcome, even if they're not makeup related. I love hearing what you ladies have to say!

Arigatooo~!

Too sad to blog...

Lately I've been in a strange mood. Not unhappy, but everything unnerves me. I go through these bouts of mood dips every now and then. It could be PMS, but lately I can't seem to stop thinking about my father. I think he's the reason why I've been feeling down.

My father passed away without warning two years ago, while I lived in California. A few days before I was due home to Japan, I get a life-changing call from one of my younger sisters. I was at a taco joint near my house. She sobs, 'Dad died' and begs me to come home immediately. I haven't been able to eat fish tacos since.

I cried at first, but became numb towards his death for a good year after that. I was dealing with my remaining family, a declining relationship with my mother, a messy breakup and job-hunting all at once...so I had no time to grieve, and gave myself no time to grieve either. In turn, for a few months I did turn into an erratic, tempermental person. I lost interest and patience with the little things that used to matter to me...like listening to my friends whine about boring jobs and no-good boyfriends, and eating and sleeping well.

My life has settled considerably since that fateful day. I speak to my mother now. I have a wonderful, caring, kind boyfriend with whom I live with. He picked me off the ground when everyone else was tired of my emotional roaller coaster. I have a good job in a promising field.
I've made supportive, innovating, inspirational friends.

But I don't have my father. He was the buffer between my mother and I. He was my shoulder to cry on. He belived in me although all I did was make shameful mistakes. He was my giving tree, and my creative mentor. But he is gone forever, and sometimes I don't know where to look to feel brighter, to feel like he's still with me. Sometimes I squeeze my eyes shut tight to remind myself what he looked and sounded like. I am afraid that I might forget his warm voice.

You think it gets easier, after losing a loved one...but it doesn't. You may think that you're going to be alright, that your life will go on, but it's not that easy. It's like I've been awake for two years, without a chance to blink and put my mind at ease. He is always in the back of my mind, a constant reminder of something missing, something unfinished, something unsaid.

I thank anyone who read this. It's just jumbled thoughts that needed a way out.

Want more time off!

I am having blog-posting-withdrawl, so I thought I'd post something from work. Luckily this site is not blocked by the firewall...it SHOULD be, since I work at an International carrier...but it's not, so good for me! I bought a crapload of makeup again...so I'll be posting pics real soon.

Blogging is therapeutic just as much as it is an addiction. It's time-consuming...and I never seem to have time! Recently I only have a day and a half off after night shifts, and I'm back to the yard again...Definitely NOT enough time to recuperate...I'm irritable, and my hair won't listen, LOL. Ladies, the key to staying healty and fresh-looking is to stay hydrated, not smoking, and GET ENOUGH SLEEP! Man, I can't stress how important getting a good amount of shut-eye is every night (or day, in my case).

I started my current job almost two years ago, and not only has my skin gotten worse, but my weight has fluctuated and immunes weakened. Okay, this makes me sounds like I'm really sickly...I'm not, but my hectic work schedule has really taken it's toll on my previous healthy mind and body. In addition to regular day shifts, I work six night shifts per month and each shift is 14 hours long. I do get a three-hour break per shift, but it's not enough to where I feel well-rested. None of the products I've tried have successfully restored lost moisture to my skin, and conceal the gray half- moons under my eyes...but I am on a mission to find them! Perhaps my lovely readers can recommend some awesome life-saving products? LOL.

Anywho, hope all of you are having a great day! And don't stay up too late! ;)

Just me ranting...about me.

I’m an inquisitive learner, and am always reading. I scour and devour fashion magazines. I hoard back-issues of Glamour and Allure in my living room. My boyfriend hates this, since it takes up precious space where he could have hidden his dirty gym clothes and empty Cheetos bags, but a girl needs to have handy access to references of new antioxidants at all times, right?

I’ve loved writing and makeup since around the fifth grade when my ‘pretty’ classmates started modeling and would bring to show-and-tell posters of their handiwork for the new Coca-Cola or Friskies ad. So it’s no coincidence I fell in love with fashion and makeup photography as well. I constantly daydream of becoming a beauty writer someday. In eighth grade my classmate read aloud an essay she wrote about me and my acute obsession of the many uses of skin-toned loose powder. I never should have shared my private notes and stolen Clinique lipstick with her! (That was an EXTREMELY embarrassing experience by the way, since my dear mother and teachers all thought of me as a lost cause, and this essay only drove their ill-conceived notions of me even further.)

Many years later, I’m still a beauty junkie, and my cluttered kitchen is my crackhouse. I store all of my M.A.C, Stila, and NARS indulgences on my kitchen table, not to mention my drugstore-makeup binges that I hide in the spare bedroom. According to le boyfriend, I have a ‘rich girl’s makeup collection’…I wish…but I’m getting there! Seriously, someone needs to help me get help. Start by tell me not to buy things I DON’T NEED! Every inch of that poor table is covered with empty eyeshadow boxes and lip-gloss spills. Ha, with all the money I spend on beauty products I could afford to live in a six-mat apartment (one measly room) in Ebisu or Ginza! But obviously that’s not what I want at all.

Although I haven’t made it as a writer yet, I have defied all the rules and broke all molds my family and private schools that I attended tried so vehemently to impose. I set my own standards of normalcy and own a lifestyle where I don’t need to be cramped in a glorified shoebox in a glitzier part of town. I can still feed my M.A.C addiction, AND pay all the bills. Besides, I’ve always loved the ‘burbs anyway. I get to spy on my weird retired neighbors and their promiscuous grown children who bike home at odd hours of the night!

I want to know everything about high and low beauty brands and their products. I want to write about their good products and the awful ones too, the ones that smell halfway between rotten maraschino cherries and Chinese medicine, a.k.a. moldy roots and plants (lots of recent organic, preservative-free makeup smell and taste like this, I swear). I want to help women (and men!) by making their search of products an easier endeavor. Essentially, I want to write things that will assure them that yes, inner beauty always wins, but it’s not shallow or self-righteous to want to look just as hot on the outside as well.

This is why I gave birth to this blog. I hope my product reviews and rants help females of all ages and sizes (I’m only 5'0 by the way) feel excited about all the fun, functional AND funky-smellin’ products out there to make us look and feel great in and out. Enjoy, and feel free to write me any time, I’m always here!